Archive for Kids

Quiverfull or Less

December 2, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Family, Kids · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Nineteen! That’s how many children the Duggars currently have.

I love watching 19 Kids and Counting, when I get a chance. I love seeing the family dynamics, and getting new ideas on managing the home of a large family. Recently the Duggars announced that they are open to having a 20th child in spite of all they went through with the youngest Duggar, Josie. You see, the Duggar family is part of a mindset called Quiverfull. The belief (and it is back by scriptural interpretation) is that children are a blessing from God. To restrict by use of birth control of any form or sterilization would be to 1) not trust God or 2) withhold the blessings God has for them.

You might think that we at JoKars Wild are Quiverfull minded, but we are not. Yes, we have a large family. Yes, we trust God. Yes, we believe that children are a blessing from God. But there seems to be one missing ingredient to the Quiverfull mindset.

Recently a woman left a comment on one of my posts that said, “Life is already full of inevitable pain and suffering, why would you bring kids in this world, only to have them go through that too?! I can’t believe how selfish people are by having a disgraceful amount of kids. Even one is a disgrace amount!!”

As with the Duggars, I agree on some level. Yes, this life is full of pain and suffering. Why create another being to have to deal with sorrow, regrets, hatred, bitterness, brokenness? There are timess when I have worried for my children. Will we have enough food to last the month? If food prices keep going up, will I be able to afford nutritious food to feed them? Will we continue to have a place to live? As it gets colder, how will I provide jackets and boots? The answer to all those questions and the missing ingredient comes down to one thing.

A relationship.

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Tree Hunting

November 30, 2010 · Filed under Family, Kids, Travel, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

“Hey, it’s snowing outside!” said Azariah who has been concerned about snow levels for his 8th birthday next month.

“Where have you been?” Papa Joe asks him sarcastically.

It has been snowing steadily for the last half hour of our drive up into the Ochoco National Forest to get our Christmas tree. I am feeling quite comfortable in the passenger seat as Joe navigates through the snow with our 4 wheel-drive “Sir Bourbon“, which is what one of the kids dubbed our vehicle. The scenery is beautiful. The evergreen trees look as if they have been slathered with white frosting. The flakes coming down are huge. It is a beautiful sight, and I am thrilled to be able to travel in such a wonderful place. Although I have been blessed that most of my life I have been able to go to a u-cut Christmas tree farm, this is my first experience getting a tree from the forest.

In Oregon, for $5, you can buy a permit to go and harvest your own Christmas tree from the national forest. As long as you stick to a few simple rules, the forest is at your disposal. What a deal! The best Christmas tree lot in America and hundreds of trees to choose from…for only $5 and the price of gas!

As we wandered up the forestry road, it was quickly becoming clear that we shouldn’t drive too far up the hill. With each increase in elevation, the snow became deeper and deeper. We saw a wide clearing and decided to back in and park.

Side note: I am a very nervous passenger. I don’t like sliding, cars too close, trees too close, being towed, towing something, etc. If I can, I drop my head into my hands till it is over.

As Joe backed into the spot, the wheels started to spin. I ducked my head down. I didn’t think anything was wrong, but I didn’t want to look either. Next thing I knew though we were sliding a little downhill. I got out of the vehicle to “help direct” Joe, but really I just didn’t want to be in the sliding vehicle.

Another note: Don’t make comments on me being a bad mom and leaving the kids to go sliding down a hill. It was only a little ditch and a tree was blocking our sliding…poor tree. I really am a wimp.

Well, I am of little help in directing and sure enough, we slide into the tree. Thankfully, we have “rescuers” that live about 20 minutes away. Joe tells us we should all go out and explore and find our tree while he waits for his dad and uncle to come pull us out of the ditch.

Michaela offers to stay behind with Nehemiah while the rest of us head for the hills. We had forgotten to bring our camera, but here are a few shots I took with my phone.

Notice the small trees are few and far between.

The beginnings of a giant snowball…

The kids and I were having a wonderful time in the snow, but we still hadn’t found the right tree. The snow was starting to come down heavily, so we decided to head back to the Sir Bourbon. The tree might have to wait for another time.

Our rescuers soon showed up while Josiah was in search for the perfect tree. As the towing/pulling took place, I meandered around the clearing diverting my eyes from the vehicles. The little kids and Michaela had taken to the warmth of the vehicle. Josiah came and showed me a picture of a tree he found and told me to come and see.  Together with Kira and Elijah, we walked down a long hill and saw Josiah’s tree. It was beautiful, but I was unsure how we would get it up the hill and whether we would even be able to get a tree today. So off we trudged back to the Sir Bourbon. I was huffing and puffing by the time we got up there. I thought to myself, “Once up that hill is enough!”

They just about had the Sir Bourbon free after snapping a cable and the use of chains on both 4 wheel-drive vehicles. Joe’s uncle asked if we had found a tree. I told them how Josiah had found one but it was down a hill. He said how it would be a shame to come all the way out here and not get a tree. And, of course, I had to go back down the hill!

Thankfully I live with some strong men and children! With the help of Uncle Rick, Papa Joe, and Josiah, the kids got that eleven-foot tree back up the hill! I am still sore three days later from our little tree hunting experience. But it was worth it. This is the most beautiful Christmas tree ever!

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Open Mike Night

November 19, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Kids, Ministry, Music, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Well, I did it! I sang in public!

The Madison Coffee House and Laundry in Madras, Oregon was having an Open Mike Night, so my daughter Michaela and I joined forces and prepared 3 songs to sing together. I on the guitar and her on the keyboard. During our preparation for the event, we discovered that we could blend our voices pretty well and make for a fuller sound. So we took our individual songs and worked them into songs from our new “band”…Broken Stream. (Can you call yourself a band when there is only two of you?)

As I prepared for the evening, I was as nervous as if I had never sang in public before. I have, but, well, it has just been a while… Here I didn’t have a worship team to hide behind. Here I didn’t have a choir to blend into. And not only that, it was with complete strangers…not a safe church setting. (Although I do sometimes find it harder to sing for those close to me.)

So my nerves were running high. I decided I wanted to feel really good about myself, so I bought a new top and put my hair in rollers to give some curls. (I think God may have goofed by not giving me curly hair…jk) I applied more make-up than I normally wear in my hectic daily life. Although still less than a lot of other women (and some men).

Michaela and I practiced and practiced some more. We prayed. We prayed for God to use us. We prayed for God to bless our abilities to more than we were capable of. We prayed that the music would encourage and inspire those listening. We gave our music up to Him.

The time finally came for us to go to the Open Mike Night.

My 12 year old, Kira, graciously offered to babysit the little kids as Papa Joe and Josiah were out of town. The kids had movies and snacks planned out for a fun evening.

The coffee shop had a guitar and keyboard for us to use, so we left ours at home. We got there just as things were starting up and were told where we would fit in the line up. We tinkered with the keyboard, which was kind of inadequate, but thankfully another musician brought in his keyboard. Then we settled in to listen to some great and some not so great music.

As we waited, some new friends and their kids joined us. They, like us, homeschool and have a large family…soon to be 7 kids! (Yeah, I know…they’re slacking.) They also like music.

It wasn’t long before we were up. After juggling mikes and guitars and such we got underway.

We started with a song by Francseca Battistelli called “I’m Letting Go.” I chose this song because 1) it challenged me vocally and 2) it fit with what I was doing…”letting go” and “taking a giant leap of faith”. I lead this song with Michaela chiming in on harmony. Next Michaela lead “If I Die Young” by the Band Perry. Then we took our seats and listened to some other groups.

After all the musicians played 2-3 songs, the round started again. We had rehearsed only 3 songs, but Michaela was feeling strongly she should do a song she wrote called, “There is Hope”.  So Michaela started our second set doing her song a capella. Then we finished with Michaela’s song, “Smiley Music”.

After we finished our last song, our friends’ kids were getting restless so they decided to head on home. Because I feel so strongly that relationships are one of the most important things in life, I invited them to come to our house for a little bit. This wasn’t an easy decision. There was a part of me that wanted to stay and get some feedback…i.e. praise. I know it was the right decision though. My kids really enjoyed getting to see their new friends, and we had a great time talking with each other.

So that concluded the debut of Broken Stream. I have no idea if there will be more performances. We are leaving it all up to God. Michaela and I did separately audition for a holiday talent show this past week. We don’t know whether we got in yet though.

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Killing the Grouchy Old Woman

November 12, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Kids, Music · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

adamzyglis.com

I watched a movie on Thursday morning with my two eldest daughters called “How to Make an American Quilt”. One of the characters in the movie has become very cynical and bitter…a grouchy old woman. The story tells of how she became this way. Once she    was a wonderful, beautiful diver, but, after marrying, the obligations of being a mom brought her down and she gave up diving. She gave up her life for her husband and kids. Eventually she found herself alone and bitter because those around her didn’t like what she had become. The lively diver had disappeared.

I can relate so much to this. In our culture often times the opposite happens, a woman pursues so much of her own interests and life that there is no room for those closest to her. We have become a very self-seeking culture.

In my own personal quest to not ever forsake my kids and husband, I have pushed aside my own desires and abilities. I worry that I won’t give the kids what they need. I worry I won’t be a good wife. I worry that I will mess things up. Inside though, I am saddened about the things I miss out on. I become a bitter martyr. I become the grouchy, old woman.

There has to be a balance. It can’t be all one way or the other. A woman must nurture her giftings and still sacrifice her life for her children and family. A woman must sacrifice through her gifts and talents. The greatest gift I have ever received is being a mom. It is through my gifts and talents that I give life to my family. The two must be one and the same and yet separate.

I see it when I play my guitar and my kids sing and dance around me. I see it when I take them hiking and they delight in running and exploring. I see it as they try to “write” their own songs or dance like mommy. What a joy…for me and for them. Is it perfect? No, but it is fun!…we have fun…they have fun! We are living life together!

I find myself humbled and in awe of the fact that God can use my gifts as a way to become closer to my children. I have wrestled with how I am to fit everything into my day; wrestled with the guilt of me versus them. God showed me that it is possible to meet all my needs and theirs too. I realized it is about us. I really don’t know how to explain it, but I just went with the flow. I let go. I let go and let God.

I need to stop sweating the small stuff.

What passion has God placed in your heart that you have cast aside? In what way can you share this passion with your children and husband? Are you including your family into your passions?

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A Thousand Different Directions

November 10, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Family, Kids, Music · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

The last week or so, I have felt pulled in a thousand different directions. I can’t help wonder if some of it is due to my renewed passion to read the Word, or my stepping out to pursue the desire of my heart…sharing my voice with others. Most definitely some of it is simply due to the fact that I am a mom of 8.

But it leads me to question what my priorities are. No one would question that my being a wife and mom is of the utmost priority, but what does that look like? Some have said that by my stepping out vocally that I am teaching my children to take risks, to follow God’s leading, to use my gifts for God. But I could also argue that I am being selfish and not spending enough time with my children, or that my practicing takes time away from them.

I also wonder about income. Is it wrong of me to be at home not making income when we so desperately need it? Some (including myself) believe that a woman can save her family money by simply being home to prepare meals and take care of the kids. But you can’t save money if you have no money to save. I could go and get a part-time job to help make some extra money. But what would have to be pushed aside…the dishes, my music, the kid’s schooling, this blog?

And how important is this blog? Does it have value? Yes, I have a few who read it on a regular basis, but is it worth it? Do I continue to do something that seems to have little fruit? Which is the more noble task…clean laundry or sharing my life with others who may or may not want to know of my life? Wouldn’t just a simple Facebook status update suffice?

How do I answer these questions? Do I get a part-time job? Do I continue with my blog? Do I pursue sharing my vocal talents? And what about the kids, the baby, the house? How will it all be taken care of?

I know of only one way to answer my questions? I take them to Jesus. I seek the Lord’s guidance. So far, all I know is, besides continuing to nurture the kids, I am pursuing sharing my voice, and, for now, I am continuing the blog. I am unsure of everything else. Thank God I have a God who will lead me!

What are your priorities? What does God want you to do with your time?

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My Mountain

November 5, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Family, Kids, Music, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

The beautiful and majestic Mt. Hood looms not too far from my house. I see it quite often as I drive about Central Oregon. Seeing it gives me a sense of peace and strength. I like knowing that some of my family has climbed to the top of that mountain: my grandparents, my mom, my brother. I think it’s an amazing accomplishment. Someday I hope to join them in being able to say, “I climbed that mountain.”

Yet, there is another mountain begging me to climb it. This mountain stands before me looming, enticing, and threatening my very existence. I ask myself, “Do I have what it takes? Am I good enough? Would God see me through? Where would God lead me?”

Even as I write this, I am having an incredibly hard time telling you about my mountain, but I don’t think I can hide behind my fear anymore. No…I don’t think I should hide behind my fear anymore.

We all have our mountains. For one it might be starting a business, for another it might be writing a novel, and for another it might be leaving all the comforts she knows to go somewhere new. For me, it is singing and putting myself out there as a vocalist, putting myself out there for criticism, being vulnerable as a performer.

Writing a blog is easy. If I don’t like your comment, I can delete it. I don’t have to respond. I can live within my own little shell. I can tell you my opinions and then put my fingers in my ears…”La, La, La…I can’t hear you.” I don’t have to actually interact with you if I don’t want to.

This past week a theme kept recurring with our children. If you have an opportunity, seize it. Don’t make excuses. Give it everything you’ve got. First with one child, then another. Then it came and bit me in the butt as I was also asked that same question. “Why didn’t you respond to the opportunity? Why are you making excuses? Why are you hiding behind your children?” 

I have no answers but to say, I am wrong. I am sinning. I am not doing what God wants me to do. I’m the one sitting at the base of the mountain training others on how to climb while I sit in my chair doing nothing. I’m saying, “I’m not fit enough. I’m not strong enough. I have too much else to do.”

It is time I get off of my fat ass, and put one foot in front of the other and see just how far God wants me to go. Maybe I will only make it to the timberline, but at least I will be able to say, I tried my very best.

How about you? What is your mountain?

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Another Crazy Day with JoKars Wild

October 29, 2010 · Filed under Family, Kids, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , ,

It is the wee hours of the morning, and we are so grateful that JoKars Wild Crazy 8 got to sleep in till 7:30 before waking the dead aka Daddy. I have a crazy day of running around planned while the older kids are off of school, but wanted to take a moment to share with you some blogs of note.

I previously shared with you a post from my eldest daughter. Since then, she has decided to come to the world of wordpress and share her thoughts as a teenager. I hope you will take the time to check out her new blog. She loves writing and gives insight to a world few are able to see.

I also want to share with you the blog of a new friend of mine. I am completely humbled by her writing. In one post, she shared about her son getting hurt at a football game (incidentally the team my husband coaches). But it isn’t some boring detail of a kid getting hurt. Here is an excerpt:

Where once I used to fly from the sidewalk to whisk my children out of harm’s way before a barreling car could shatter all our lives, I now find myself having to swallow hard that same instinct to fight when some 185-pound man-child with facial hair and an Adam’s apple wants to make mincemeat out of my babies on the gridiron.  I may be smiling on the outside and answering Dan Tooley’s “WE ARE!” with a hearty “CC!” but inside my heart is stretched to the limit and diving out-of-bounds somewhere behind the stadium in a desperate attempt to grasp the facemask of God so I can remind Him, in no uncertain terms, of how unequipped I am to navigate the minefield also known as a Mother’s heart.  And most Friday nights this leaves me feeling like I’m on a direct flight bound for crazy with a layover in berserk!
I mean, Wow. First off, I can really relate. But more importantly, she just says it so well! Please check out her blog, MooBee. It is awesome.
Most of the troopers are up and running (and crawling) now. Nehemiah has resumed his continual series of screams and squeels to get attention from me and the other 7 kids.
So off I go into the whirlwind that is my family. May you all have a blessed day!

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Entering the Mission Field

October 28, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Family, Kids, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

My eldest daughter, Michaela, has been attending public school part-time since the beginning of September. It has been an eye opener for her protected, innocent mind. While we told her about some of the things that she would experience, it still has been quite a shock. We knew based on the experiences that she has had over the last year that she was ready for public school. She has an intimate relationship with Jesus as her savior. Like a missionary going into a foreign land though, no amount of training can prepare you for the stark reality of the mission field. The toughest thing for Michaela is the sense of being alone. She feels like she can’t trust anyone in her school. She has tried to make friends, only to find them high, flaunting their sexual escapades, or crude.

It isn’t all dark and dreary for her though. In her 3 main classes, she is excelling and even being requested to do more outside of classes. This was why we decided to have her attend, so that she could pursue her interests more. There are opportunities that we can’t provide for her in our home school classroom.

So for now, Michaela will continue (and this is her choice) in the public school world…praying for those around her and hoping to find someone whom she can laugh with and talk with but holding on to the One that is always there for her.

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“The Good Kid”

October 27, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Kids, Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

I was reading my daughter’s blog and came across a post that I really wanted to share here. She has such insight into the teen/public school world.

Michaela Jo

The Good Kid

So i am what they call at school “a good kid”. Because i dont cuss, dont smoke weed and dont date. So as i’m walking to my classes and the boy next me is going. “I hate this f-ing school and all the f-ing teachers.” I am blasting “good kid” music through my headphones to drown out all this cussing. Then your walking down the halls and you see a girl pressed up against the wall with her boyfriend kissing her and you just want to scream at them. Or your friend walks up and is singing extremely loudly, and i dont mean like good loud but like obnocsious loud, and she’s like “Dude i am so high!” and your mouth is just hanging open.

And evidently getting high, making out in the hallway and cussing makes you feel good??? Whatever! Oh how i detest the kids at my high school. Dont get me wrong some of them are nice and kind but the majority of them are just losers.

Forgive me if i am being mean but this is the truth. Some of them have even been in jail before, not kidding. Just makes me want to cry. Well i will just keep on being “the good kid” and pray for those lost souls.

~Michaela Jo
I really don’t know what to do to help her. I don’t know whether to pull her or keep her there. Do you continue to subject your kids to this all for the sake of education? There has got to be a better way.

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Help for the Unemployed’s Wife

October 26, 2010 · Filed under Faith, Family, Kids · Tagged , , , ,

I got such a kick out of this list!

I have seen and read articles about what to do if you lose your job, but I have never seen an article telling a wife what to do if her husband loses his job. When a man loses his job, it affects everyone in the family, not just himself. So I thought I would share some of the things I’ve learned in response to my husband losing his job.

  • One of the first things I had to understand was it is not my job to get my husband a new job. That’s his job. There were times when I have been tempted to ask what jobs he has applied for or what websites he has visited. Sometimes people would tell me of jobs they knew about, I would pass it along and leave it at that. I knew if he was interested he would find out more. I didn’t nag. I view his job searching like my cooking dinner. My husband doesn’t come and hover over me as I cook; making sure that I put in all the right ingredients. No, he just comes when food is ready knowing that I have done the best I can with dinner. Job hunting is his job not mine.
  • Sometimes my husband will get really down on himself. He will beat himself up and say things like, “My life sucks.” I have really struggled with not taking it personally and not making it about me. I have had to bite my tongue on numerous occasions from saying, “Gee, love you, too.” (Said with much sarcasm.) And I am sure I have let it slip a couple of times. I can guarantee you that it will start a fight. My husband’s feelings of being a failure have nothing to do with me or our family. I just keep on loving and supporting him and telling him how wonderful I think he is.
  • It has also been hard for me to come to grips that my husband is not going to be doing more housework. My mentality was “If he is going to be home, then he should do half of the housework too.” But this brings me back to my earlier point, it is his job to find a job. If he had a job, he wouldn’t be here anyway to help out, so why am I bitter? As soon as I realized this, when he does help out it has become a blessing and not me feeling like “it’s about time.” And now I feel like he is such a tremendous help to me!
  • Whether my husband has a high paying job or can only make minimum wage, he is still my man! I still hold his face in my hands and tell him how proud I am of him. Nothing and no one can convince me otherwise. He’s smart. He’s sexy. He’s talented. And even if the world may not see it, I show him that every chance I can get.
  • I have also struggled with feelings like, “Aren’t I worth you going and getting a job you hate?” I have catered to the thought, “Oh, it would only be a season of not seeing you…” I have struggled with my desire for fine things. I have struggled with seeing other people get things I want. But they are only things. It is far more important to have a husband who is around to be a daddy. It is far more important to have my man around to be my husband.
  • I have had to come to terms with trying to fix our financial situation. Again this comes back to letting him do his job. For us and our beliefs, it is my husband’s job to provide for our family. Not mine. I have had part-time jobs during our season of financial cutbacks. And, once, instead of doing the job as a way to get out of the house, it became a way to make money. What happened instead was the kids started fighting; they started getting crabby; I became resentful. I had to come to grips with the fact that it wasn’t my job. I had to let it go. I had to give it over to God…all of it.

That is what has brought me through this season. I rest peacefully in the role God has given me as a wife. I am my husband’s help meet. I am to help him, not take over. My job is to take care of my home and my children. I find so much peace in this. I know that God will provide. I know my husband will do his job. I trust that God will guide him. After all, I didn’t marry a dud…I married a stud.

Are you embracing the role God has for you as a wife? Read the Word and ask what role God wants you to have. Rest in the confidence that He will provide all your needs.

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