Killing the Grouchy Old Woman

adamzyglis.com

I watched a movie on Thursday morning with my two eldest daughters called “How to Make an American Quilt”. One of the characters in the movie has become very cynical and bitter…a grouchy old woman. The story tells of how she became this way. Once she    was a wonderful, beautiful diver, but, after marrying, the obligations of being a mom brought her down and she gave up diving. She gave up her life for her husband and kids. Eventually she found herself alone and bitter because those around her didn’t like what she had become. The lively diver had disappeared.

I can relate so much to this. In our culture often times the opposite happens, a woman pursues so much of her own interests and life that there is no room for those closest to her. We have become a very self-seeking culture.

In my own personal quest to not ever forsake my kids and husband, I have pushed aside my own desires and abilities. I worry that I won’t give the kids what they need. I worry I won’t be a good wife. I worry that I will mess things up. Inside though, I am saddened about the things I miss out on. I become a bitter martyr. I become the grouchy, old woman.

There has to be a balance. It can’t be all one way or the other. A woman must nurture her giftings and still sacrifice her life for her children and family. A woman must sacrifice through her gifts and talents. The greatest gift I have ever received is being a mom. It is through my gifts and talents that I give life to my family. The two must be one and the same and yet separate.

I see it when I play my guitar and my kids sing and dance around me. I see it when I take them hiking and they delight in running and exploring. I see it as they try to “write” their own songs or dance like mommy. What a joy…for me and for them. Is it perfect? No, but it is fun!…we have fun…they have fun! We are living life together!

I find myself humbled and in awe of the fact that God can use my gifts as a way to become closer to my children. I have wrestled with how I am to fit everything into my day; wrestled with the guilt of me versus them. God showed me that it is possible to meet all my needs and theirs too. I realized it is about us. I really don’t know how to explain it, but I just went with the flow. I let go. I let go and let God.

I need to stop sweating the small stuff.

What passion has God placed in your heart that you have cast aside? In what way can you share this passion with your children and husband? Are you including your family into your passions?

3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Michelle said,

    You should have more self-respect for your body than you have. Why would you ruin it through pregnancy and childbirth eight times!! No one wants to see baby fat! Do you know how selfish it is for parents to have kids, and then try to bring them up in a wicked, murderous, world?! Life is already full of inevitable pain and suffering – why would you bring kids in this world, only to have them go through that too?! I can’t believe how selfish people are by having a disgraceful amount of kids. Even one is a disgraceful number!!

    • 2

      Mama K said,

      Hahaha…thank you, Michelle, for giving me such a good laugh today! I am so glad your parents didn’t share in your sentiments…otherwise I would not have been blessed with your humor. Truly…Thank you!

  2. 3

    […] a woman left a comment on one of my posts that said, “Life is already full of inevitable pain and suffering, why would you bring kids in […]


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