My Mountain

The beautiful and majestic Mt. Hood looms not too far from my house. I see it quite often as I drive about Central Oregon. Seeing it gives me a sense of peace and strength. I like knowing that some of my family has climbed to the top of that mountain: my grandparents, my mom, my brother. I think it’s an amazing accomplishment. Someday I hope to join them in being able to say, “I climbed that mountain.”

Yet, there is another mountain begging me to climb it. This mountain stands before me looming, enticing, and threatening my very existence. I ask myself, “Do I have what it takes? Am I good enough? Would God see me through? Where would God lead me?”

Even as I write this, I am having an incredibly hard time telling you about my mountain, but I don’t think I can hide behind my fear anymore. No…I don’t think I should hide behind my fear anymore.

We all have our mountains. For one it might be starting a business, for another it might be writing a novel, and for another it might be leaving all the comforts she knows to go somewhere new. For me, it is singing and putting myself out there as a vocalist, putting myself out there for criticism, being vulnerable as a performer.

Writing a blog is easy. If I don’t like your comment, I can delete it. I don’t have to respond. I can live within my own little shell. I can tell you my opinions and then put my fingers in my ears…”La, La, La…I can’t hear you.” I don’t have to actually interact with you if I don’t want to.

This past week a theme kept recurring with our children. If you have an opportunity, seize it. Don’t make excuses. Give it everything you’ve got. First with one child, then another. Then it came and bit me in the butt as I was also asked that same question. “Why didn’t you respond to the opportunity? Why are you making excuses? Why are you hiding behind your children?” 

I have no answers but to say, I am wrong. I am sinning. I am not doing what God wants me to do. I’m the one sitting at the base of the mountain training others on how to climb while I sit in my chair doing nothing. I’m saying, “I’m not fit enough. I’m not strong enough. I have too much else to do.”

It is time I get off of my fat ass, and put one foot in front of the other and see just how far God wants me to go. Maybe I will only make it to the timberline, but at least I will be able to say, I tried my very best.

How about you? What is your mountain?

7 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Great post! I learned to run at age 40. Never ran in my LIFE before that. Best mountain I ever climbed. And I’m still climbing!!!

  2. 2

    Cindy Knull said,

    I’ve taken on a half marathon, Kara. Because although I am a very athletic and fit person, endurance running has always been my greatest physical challenge. So, after a friend of mine who has Type II diabetes, 60 pounds overweight, and was a smoker told me he was going to run the Rock n Roll Half Marathon in Las Vegas I was thrilled for him…but then he asked me to do it with him. Uh oh. My stomach tightened, I started sweating….but at 41, I’ve decided to conquer my fears. And I am now five weeks out from running this half marathon. Hotel booked, plane tickets bought and I’m running my first 10k race THIS MORNING. I am succeeding in this thing. And the Holy Spirit is running right alongside me every single step, minute and mile.

    I’ve also recently decided to become a bone marrow donor after reading the story of the little girl who was in the touring production of The Lion King, died after not being able to find a donor for her leukemia. Life is too short, Kara. DO IT. AND while you’re out confronting that fear of singing again, go ahead and climb Mt. Hood. Set that goal. That mountain…is your life. love you.

    • 3

      Mama K said,

      Cindy, Thanks. For whatever reason, I only just read this now. Endurance is my biggest physical challenge as well. I will celebrate the day I run a mile without stopping. I have never done that in my life!
      That half marathon you are doing…the mom of 12 I mention in “Baby Runner on Board”, she is also going to be in the Rock n Roll Half Marathon. Small world.
      I have begun the process of stepping out vocally. I will be singing at an open mike night this Saturday. Life is too short.

  3. 4

    […] Who is JoKars Wild? ← My Mountain […]

  4. 5

    Cindy Knull said,

    “I will be singing at an open mike night this Saturday.” WOOOT!!

  5. 6

    Cindy Knull said,

    Also, other than my photo journal ( hee hee, I’d like to link you to this blog I think you’d love it.

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